Vulnerable Authentic Leadership

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The way that I view leadership has immensely changed after this first semester of doctoral coursework. I’ll be honest, I was not expecting to have as much self-reflection during the first semester. After reviewing all of my assignments and the completed assessments, I understand the value and importance of this self-reflection.

This semester has taught me the value in truly knowing my strengths and areas for growth opportunities. While I knew there were some areas I personally wanted to work on, I was encouraged by the MBTI in knowing that these are areas that most people with my ESTJ personality struggle with. Knowing that I need to focus on flexibility and relaxation has allowed me to give others grace, as I give myself grace. I’ve intentionally begun to build in time for self-care and relaxation. With working full-time, parenting full-time, and being a doctoral student, it has become very important for me to put time aside to do tasks that bring me joy and are stress-free. I have always been a person and employee who follows the rules and abides by the set expectations. This program has continued to reinforce what I already knew – not everyone learns or behaves the way that I do.

The content from this semester has also shaped the way that I view my leadership. Having the terminology to define the way I currently lead and the ways I want to grow have been helpful. Noticing the disconnect between the way I learn and currently lead, from the way I want to lead has helped me identify where to focus my attention on leading. This program has continued to fuel my desire regarding being in a position of power to make meaningful change. Knowing and understanding the Five Dysfunctions of a Team (Lencioni, 2002), has given me guidance on how to approach change within my current team and building a new team. I am encouraged by my support systems’ devotion to my education. Their support, guidance, and kindness has been very appreciative on days where I’ve felt absent-minded.

This semester has reinforced my desire to be a vulnerable and authentic leader. Brene’s Brown in a researcher and social worker who focuses on the power of vulnerability. Her TED talk on vulnerability, is one that I reference often and encourage my students to watch.

Brene’s ability to encourage us to let go of guilt and shame and lean into our emotional, vulnerable, and authentic self. My ability to be vulnerable, paired with the concepts behind Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity Kim Scott (2017) are driving forces of my ideal views of leadership. The personal challenges I faced this summer, have primed me to inject humility, vulnerability, and authenticity in what I perceive to be a safe space.

This semester, I did not think I would be assessing others leadership styles. Having to do this opened my eyes to the types of leaders I want to emulate and leaders that I want to learn from their challenges. My ability to multitask was challenged. The depth in which I need to learn, analyze, and synthesize information as a doctoral level student does not allow me to multitask the way that I’m used to. I am not able to parent my daughter while writing. I’ve learned to block time off daily for when I will parent and for when I will focus on school.

All in all, I’ve grown so much in this first semester. I look forward to my continued growth in all areas of my life.