My Journey as a Doctoral Student Begins

Today marks Day 67 of being a doctoral student. I’ve been told by many colleagues that there is never a good time to start a doctorate. The best time will be when you can’t stop thinking about it and you know you need it to achieve your hearts desire. In these 67 days, I’ve sold my house, couch surfed for a week, taken many day trips with my daughter, spent many nights reading and writing until the wee hours of the morning, and worked a 40+ hours a week career… and I wouldn’t change anything about this journey.

It is not lost on me that by pursuing this degree, I am doing something that no one in my family has. Previously, I mentioned that I’m not doing this solely for myself, but also my daughter. I am pursuing this degree to not only advance my career, but to show my daughter that anything is possible if you work hard and sacrifice for it. My top 3 takeaways so far have been:

1. I will get tired, frustrated, and emotional BUT making mistakes now and learning new concepts will prepare me for future hardships.
2. Relationships and people are at the heart of everything I do; make sure to cultivate new relationships with people who have different strengths than I do.
3. My voice, presence, and perspective are needed.

Tired, Frustrated, and Emotional

Having to explain to my four year old that I have to do schoolwork instead of playing Barbie with her, has been frustrating at times. I’ve had to adjust my schedule to ensure that I am a present mother, but also a budding scholar. By adjusting my schedule, it means that I’ve had to give up part of my social life. My daughter may not understand the sacrifices I’m making now, but I know that it will be worth it. I’ve had to be intentional with focusing on self-care during this semester. Knowing that there will be days where I only have time for work, parenting, and school has made me schedule my ‘me’ time. Some days will be spend cycling, while others will be spent doing absolutely nothing… and that’s okay. Becoming comfortable with the social life I’m temporarily losing for the skillset I’m gaining, has been valuable to me.

People and Relationship

I believe that this is the area where I’ve grown the most. Having my colleagues evaluate me with a 360 degree feedback assessment and then to analyze the results has been amazing. There are areas where I rated myself low and my colleagues did not. Having conversations with them about their ratings and the growth they’ve seen in my leadership has affirmed for me that I made the right decision with this program. As much as I thought I valued people and my relationships, taking the Bolman and Deal (2010) “Leadership Orientations” assessment opened my eyes. I typically lead from the structural frame, which complements by MBTI personality type of ESTJ. Regarding the ESTJ personality Chris (2015) states:

People who belong to this personality type represent order and tradition, utilizing what they understand about what is right, wrong and socially acceptable to bring families and communities together. By embracing the values of dignity, dedication and honesty, they are valued for their clear guidance and advice, and would happily lead the way on difficult paths” (p.1).

I’ve taken the feedback from both of these assessments to make sure I’m being deliberate with valuing relationships and building new relationships.

Voice, Presence, and Perspective

My background and experiences are needed for future generations. Being able to be a role model for young African-American is something I value. I wouldn’t be where I am today if not for the mentorship I’ve had. I want to pay it forward and be that role model for others. If our country is to break the glass ceiling of African American women in college leadership, those of us who are in these doctorate programs need to embrace being mentors. I do not claim to have it all together or know all that I need to know, but I can make a difference. With this, I’ve embraced the following:

These 67 days have challenged me in my self-awareness, my intellect, and my perseverance. I am better for it; my leadership is better for it; and my community will be better for it.